Dr. Charley Cropley, ND
I NEED TO LET GO, GET IT ON, GO FOR IT AS FULLY AS I WANT. I get this through dance and most any type of workout. Dance allows me to self express in ways I don’t experience in anything else. It is a living meditation for me. I remain fully present to everything that is going on in my experience. The rhythm is my mantra. When I wander into moving in ways that are out of rhythm, the music calls me back to allow my body to be responsive to the music. I let the music lead and I follow. This gives me new meaning to the saying “Follow the music.”
The music actually shapes my movements. Regularly I find myself thinking that I should be working my shoulders; or I shouldn’t be doing such easy, relaxed movements. I need to definitely work harder and work my body in a way that is going to produce greater strength and vitality. I relax and open my body to all these thoughts. I can feel how these thoughts take me away from my body and my movements fall out of harmony with the music.
The music calls me back, directs me what it wants to do in me. I relax into the comfort of realizing that I don’t need a workout plan or any plan for what I’m doing right now. I totally trust myself, my body knows exactly what he’s doing, without having to think about it. My thoughts relax and all of me becomes integrated in completely letting go into the music.
Yeah, baby. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
Letting go; letting myself move in any way I want to. I can be as sassy, punk, rockin’, soft ecstatic, reverent, wanna fuck, whatever, oh yeah, a bad ass street fightin’ man. Whatever, whoever shows up.
I know in the core of my being, (as a man, located in my penis) that letting it rip; going thru all resistance to being totally free and open and revealed while dancing migrates into every other aspect of my life and I feel myself blessed.
What is really tripping my trigger is infusing this same loving freedom into making my bed and shaving. No music playing except your sweet voice singing in silence in my heart. Passion is what its all about; being in love with the opportunity of loving myself by allowing myself to fully express my goodness into the slide of my razor across my face.
As Rumi says
“Let the beauty you love
Be what you do.
There are a thousand ways
To kneel and kiss the earth.”
“Let the beauty you love be what you do… right now. Reading these words can you simultaneously feel the background presence of your own love for yourself; your own goodwill towards yourself; your desire to benefit and care for yourself, your pity for your own misery and suffering.
The only time you can feel this is right now, doing what you are presently doing. The love you long for is now and here. Find your beloved, long for Her, cry out to her in the way you wash the dishes. There is no right way to express your love to God. Just fumble your way. “The path is made by walking.”
Do the dishes as a prayer; as what you can actually do in this moment to Heal your cancer. Fill the soapy water with your longing to be well, with your passion for a better life. Let all the doubts about the usefulness of this pass before you, the witness in this meditation of daily life. Allow yourself to feel fully your discomfort of not knowing how to do the sacred dance of cleaning the kitchen; not knowing how to find God, your goodness right here. This is your meditation. Return again and again to the rhythm. Find the beat. You know unmistakably when you are on and off beat.
Refuse to allow your thoughts, your feelings of “not doing it right” to separate you from your Beloved. Make Her know and feel your love. “I make this bed for you. You give me my Health. You overcome my faults. You are my strength, my everything. You hear me? You know I am playing real with you. I know you hear me and I know you love me because I love you so much.
On the other side, be the voice and character of your love and good will for yourself.
I love you, Charley. I love you. Feel me. I want you to feel my presence and my love. I am with you right now. I am in your every bodily sensation. I am the heart beating these words. I am unending, unlimited love for you. Whatever and whoever you think yourself to be; your body, your accomplishments, your faults, feel my love for you. I love you exactly as you are and I want you to feel that. Open your body. Open your heart and your mind and receive what you have always wanted to feel and know.
I not only love you I give you the Power to do all the good you want to do… right now. So do the dishes sucker. Do em for me.
Anything else is pure imagination. There is no future where you will someday find me and we will be together. As Elvis said, “It’s now or never. My love won’t wait.”
This is my own furious sanity that rages as me. I invite you to stumble your way to your own.
Being obsessed with our Beloved, with Vis, God, who we really are; this is the height of sanity; the soul of Health. I know this is what I am made for; this is what I’ve always wanted to do. I did not know this was it. All I knew was that there was always something missing. This is as close as I get to that something.
I write this because I am a Naturopathic Doctor and my patients come to me with real Health problems that need real answers. What I have written about here is what I experience as the most reliable, practical, powerful source of Healing I know of. This authentic dialogue with my own wise, good self fills me with great vitality. It relieves me of the endless and relentless burden of trying to be good enough, of not liking myself, of the incessant grasping and avoiding that characterizes our human experience.
When I know myself as one who loves to do good and who is doing all the good he can right now, or even being a lazy bum right now… perfectly, and for god. When I am loving Charley and Charley is loving me, Charley does good things. He eats better, his workouts rock, his inner dialogue is exactly what you read in this article, he shows up authentically in his relationships. This is the real work of Healing; making our actions living expressions of our goodness. When you know yourself to be pure goodness. You naturally enact that goodness and your body embodies your goodness.
Wise action Heals. Your caring actions reverberate through all levels of your soma and psyche. Your physiology and anatomy both Heal. This is the way Healing works. Your pathology is born of being separate from your innate Healing Power, your innate wise love for yourself. If you don’t live in the joy and exhilaration of your own Healing Power, then you get real, real anxious. Your body tenses, your circulation contracts, hormones, precious oxygen, digestion… everything gets fucked up. And the very cells of your body and all the process these cells depend upon get fucked up and we call this disease. People freak out that when they are diagnosed with a serious disease. Some of them come to me and I teach them the way back home; back to living in the presence of those who love you.