I saw this meme and I couldn’t stop chuckling inside.
I envied that little alien
The truth is, I aspire to be that alien – knowing exactly who he is and being 100% comfortable with it. I’m on a constant quest to discover my most comfortable self. I know that when I’m really embodying that Natalie, I feel grounded, I speak confidently, I stand taller, I look people in the eyes and I smile widely, I’m engaged with the world and detached from its criticisms.
I only wish I was always in that zone
It’s not so uncommon that I catch myself in a place that doesn’t feel like myself. It feels like an ungrounded me, a “me” that is too busy worrying about other people’s opinions, a “me” that is too busy ruminating over some past event that she doesn’t see the present moment.
I notice the lesser “me” moments when I agree to “doing something that I really don’t have the capacity to do” just because I’m worried about disappointing someone. I know in that moment that I’m making a choice just to please someone else and I know that I’m not in that awesome-Natalie mode.
I notice when I bottle up my feelings because I’m scared that if I speak my truth I will drive someone away. I know in that moment I’m not in confident-Natalie mode.
I notice when I feel my heart racing in panic, completely disappointed in myself for something I “should have done better.” I know in that as long as I’m living in the past, I cannot experience the present, and I have already missed the moment to be the comfortable Natalie.
The real truth is, I don’t always catch myself. Sometimes I’m off on autopilot. I’ll agree to requests and only realize I should have said no when I’m mumbling to myself on the way to the event about how stressed I am and that I have too much on my plate. I’ll go on and on berating myself for how “un-cool” I am because I said something dumb at a party. I’ll stew about something I’m upset about (not thinking I’m upset) until my fiancé gives me the look that means he knows I’m upset about something and I better just let it out.
The path to becoming more comfortable with yourself is not fast and it’s not easy. The end goal is not perfection. The end goal is self-acceptance. So every time I catch myself doing something that’s NOT myself, I gently remind myself to take a deep breath and ask myself what I need in that moment. And from now on, I’ll think of that little alien on his lawn chair…
If you want to work on being more comfortable with yourself too, I suggest cultivating these three practices:
- Practice self-love
I read something in Brene Brown’s book, Daring Greatly. Brene talks about the idea that you can only effectively put up boundaries when you love yourself. It was a lightbulb moment for me. Of course! How can I erect those boundaries to what I can do and can’t do, will do and won’t do unless I love myself? I need to love myself, value myself, and respect my OWN needs before I can attend to the needs of others.
- Practice mindfulness
I’m thoroughly convinced that mindfulness is the key to a happy life. Mindfulness increases awareness, it increases your ability to stay in the present moment…and that my friend, is where your true-self lives!
- Take deep breaths and let go of the negative self-talk
Seriously, breathe it out. Breathe in fresh air, and exhale negativity. Or just keep breathing and your breath will do the work for you. Deep breath in through your nose and out through your mouth.
- Channel the little alien on the lawn chair
Image Source: https://onsizzle.com/i/funny-instagram-low-key-me-low-key-33305
Dr. Natalie Bozinovski ND MSc., is a licensed Naturopathic Doctor, Master of Nutrition, published author, speaker, and founder ofwww.healthandthecity.com, a web-based resource designed to provide fresh insights, tools and guidance to busy professionals on how to make wellness a daily habit.
Known for her personal warmth, comprehensive knowledge across multiple disciplines and an unwavering commitment to her patient’s success, Dr. Natalie’s ultimate ambition is to help individuals achieve optimal energy and lifetime wellbeing.
In clinical practice, her approach is based on a personalized evaluation of the patients physical, emotional and lifestyle goals. By blending an integrated knowledge of complementary medicine and biomedical science with specialties in nutrition, Chinese medicine, acupuncture and botanical medicine, Dr. Natalie believes high-quality health care must be evidence based and individualized.
With a practice focused on patients overwhelmed by stress and experiencing depleted energy, Dr. Natalie treats a variety of concerns including insomnia, weight optimization, skin issues, mood changes and anxiety, digestive complaints as well as a range of female-specific health concerns.
Dr. Natalie has an Honours B.Sc. with Distinction in Biomedical Sciences and Economics from the University of Waterloo, a Master’s degree in Nutritional Sciences from the University of Toronto and a Doctor of Naturopathic degree from the Canadian College of Naturopathic Medicine. She is trained in First Line Therapy®, live blood cell microscopy, and cosmetic mesotherapy and facial acupuncture for anti-aging.
Having grown up with a Naturopath/Chiropractor father, Dr. Natalie has both a personal appreciation and direct experience of the benefits of complementary medicine to both a healthy body and a healthy mind.