Robyn Fritz, MA, MBA
Did you just come home from work so tired and drained you decided you never-ever-in-a-million-years want to see another human being? Do you hate to go out in crowds because people drain you?
If so, maybe it’s time you checked your energy boundaries. Yes, really. They’re invisible, and they matter.
Checking Our Energetic Boundaries
I like to call our energy boundaries our own personal support force. They can both protect and guide us by alerting us to what’s going on around us. That is, they help filter out things that could damage or harm us at the same time as they help us attract good things to us. Consider them an extra layer of protection and discernment.
We all experience times when our energy boundaries (what some might call our energy field) are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Here are clues to whether yours need attention:
- You feel overwhelmed in public, oversensitive, irritated, or just tired.
- You have low self-esteem or self-worth.
- Clients and family drain you or make you doubt yourself.
- You feel you do not deserve prosperity or abundance.
- You give everything away: your energy, spirit, time, money.
- You never put yourself first.
- You’re not really a hermit, but you’d like to be.
Stress and Energetic Boundaries
Every day you probably experience the effects of weakened energy boundaries—after all, we’re leading busy lives. And every day we manage them, knowingly or not. The point of learning about your energetic boundaries is so we can claim greater power over our own lives, from our emotional to our physical well-being. Whether it is illness, a frantic schedule, client issues, or chronic lack of business, life throws us curve balls: so how do you catch them?
Well, let’s look at stress. We are so used to it that we think of it as an emotional reaction to daily demands at work and home, something we just have to live with. But stress has physical and psychic consequences that can damage our lives for years if we don’t properly handle them. As more of us experience the expansion of our intuitive abilities, the effects of stress reverberate not just in our bodies, but in our souls, intuitive lives, and home and business spaces.
We deal with that, and become our best selves, when we create firm boundaries—when we learn to say “no” and how to reinforce that “no” energetically. That requires learning what disrupts our boundaries and how those disruptions affect us.
Here’s an example. If you get sick, you deal with it medically, and then you look at your energy boundaries. Sometimes things just happen: saying “it’s meant to be” is really an example of someone with poorly developed energy boundaries. However, sometimes you can identify triggers: for example, a few years ago I developed shingles—four days after a deeply upsetting personal encounter. Yes, crap happens, I’m sorry to say, but I suspected this was stress-induced shingles, so once the medical solutions were in place, I re-examined my boundaries.
That made me realize I’d been putting up with a relationship simply because of family, instead of putting my integrity, emotional welfare, and choice first. By ending the relationship my life quickly became deeper, richer, better than I could have imagined just days earlier. Just like I teach my clients, I said “no” to energetic violations, because our deep, loving hearts need effective boundaries to get along, and ahead, in life.
Shoring Up Energetic Boundaries
Creating healthy energy boundaries doesn’t have to be as dramatic as this incident was for me, but it’s a reminder that our boundaries are affected by internal and external things, even though we can’t always see them. Every day our energetic boundaries are shaken by people, events, family, work, the news. Don’t delay learning how to manage them for yourself (they are different for each of us just as our intuitive abilities are different). Our boundaries always need attention. Stay vigilant, because it’s easy to get blind-sided.
Here’s a simple exercise you can do to shore up your energetic boundaries. When you feel stressed, tired, cranky, or just generally “off,” take a break. Sit down, close your eyes, and take a long breath in to a count of 4, hold it for 4, release it for 4. Repeat several times. You will begin to relax and calm down, which is the first step to getting back into yourself in a healthy, positive manner.
Here’s another exercise we should all get familiar with, which I’ll explain through an example. I was working with a client when I suddenly experienced chest pains strong enough to make me pause during our session. Because my work routinely involves moving energy, and in this case, moving energy in a home (space clearing), sometimes I physically experience an energetic change. So when I paused, I asked myself: “Is this me or something in my client or the home?”
As it turned out, it was me, and I ended up in the hospital later that night, suffering from relapsed bronchitis which induced chest pain.
So, when you’re out and about, working with clients, whatever it is, stop occasionally and tune in to your body. Notice if there is a sensation that is not normal, including an emotional change. Ask yourself: “Is this me or something else?” Your answer will clue you in to whether you need to work on your boundaries and shore up your energy field, or whether it’s not something that concerns you.
If you’re curious to dig deep into how your energy boundaries, or how your intuition works (or both), please consider my upcoming classes at Bastyr University in Kenmore, WA.
On Saturday, May 14, 2016, my workshop, Developing Your Intuition, will teach you how your intuition works. On Sunday, May 15, 2016, my workshop, Developing and Maintaining Your Intuitive Energy Boundaries, will help you learn a number of exercises and techniques to support your energy field throughout the day. Both workshops carry 6.5 CEUs, CMEs, and PDAs.
Robyn M Fritz MA MBA is an intuitive coach, author, and radio host. She offers animal communication, mediumship, soul progression clearing, and space clearing services internationally and teaches intuitive workshops. Upcoming classes on intuition and energy boundaries are at Bastyr University May 14-15, 2016. Her website: Alchemy West.